Below are the 3 most recent journal entries.
I still have no idea how I got here,
yet I have thrice retraced my steps, backwards and blindfolded.
I can't tell anymore if this is where I strove to be
or steered to avoid alighting,
but the sheer disdain of it makes me hope
it's only temporary,
like the truth.
This lifestyle really can swallow you whole;
a nearly fashionable style of suicide,
captured and savored through time-lapse photography,
where the victor becomes scorned rather than mourned over the passage of time.
I am extinguishing the person I am to any friends and family I have left,
while developing a twisted,
unrealistically expansive sense of love
that doesn't seem possible to
requite nor rescind.
None of it
of any dire significance,
save for an abhorrent adherence to a single bitter altruism:
Where life is beautiful, the world seems cruel; where quixotic love is baneful, the world seems almost bearable.
Let her go, old man. The details and decor make no difference in the end. One lie becomes the only truth between missed calls and empty texts. The digital age of degradation. And don't pretend to give her too much credit; you'll only chase after her for it in the end. You supplied enough foolish gullibility to bare the blame. And after all, ashamed is all you can be for it. Better off not saying anything, since there really is nothing to speak of, besides the redundancy of 'it is what it is what it is'. Anything you think you've lost is only what you choose to let her keep. Take it back like you have the rest, save for the vengeful dismantling of their personal ego; this ones had enough before you came along.
berita acara tata batas
stay alone.stay awake.
stay abed.stay awry.
stay adept.stay amidst.
stay apart.stay abhor.
stay adore.stay attune.
stay attrite.stay affix.